Almost Home

I am two thirds through this trip with two weeks, two hemispheres, and two countries more or less done. Now I am nearly set to arrive in a third, my home country: New Zealand. It is going to be good catching up with friends and family (many of both also traveling back from overseas) over Christmas. This is a trend that looks set to continue if I persist with an academic career, moving countries to get to the next lab every two to three years. A transient, shifting, rootless existence?

This provoked me into thinking what home is. It isn't necessarily where you originated. During previous jaunts back to New Zealand it hasn't elicited those feelings of returning home. My parents' house doesn't feel like my home either. I could say that about the flats I have inhabited in NZ, Canberra, and the US as well. I'm not sure I can really say there is no where that feels like home though.

What does home feel like anyway? Some feeling of familiarity and comfort, an environment in which you can completely relax and be yourself. You can be unguarded and not wear a mask. Perhaps if it is about ones feelings and actions it shouldn't be surprising that this feeling of home does not necessarily require a specific location. Perhaps it is just the people that are present. Canberra has certainly felt that way this time, and having discounted location alone the only remaining cause can be my friends here.

My old flat has completely disintegrated. All my housemates have moved out and even the property managers have changed. I could not return to that familiar location. Perhaps the lab was the only place that was tied to one particular spot, and that did feel a bit like home, but it is also full of familiar faces. Training at Yu Shih Tao felt like home. If home can feel like burning muscles and gasping for air through nausea. It was good to catch up with those guys.

A feeling of home can also be elicited by chatting with friends via the internets, making almost anywhere home if only for the length of that chat. I'm wondering if my definition is too broad but I am nearly satisfied that moving countries every so often does not have to be such a bleak prospect.

Comments

[Programmable Thermostat]

Why you said this "My parents' house doesn't feel like my home either." there something happen, coz while i reading this. i ask this line.

[a postdoctoral associate]

I have been wondering why when I visited six months ago (immediately before traveling to the US) I didn't experience that feeling of home, certainly not as outlined more recently. It only occurred to me after that visit that it was weird I didn't feel so at ease at home.

There wasn't any sort of traumatic experience. I expect a large part of it was not really being open to the feeling. It was all a bit of a rush back then. I was thinking of many things and perhaps in the hurry I didn't really take the time to consider and enjoy the situation as much as recently.